Zeleonnaya Dunia

Salam,

Today I had an outing. (God, suddenly I hate me because I always begins my sentence with 'today' like there's no other words). Just a small outing to a park nearby my house, looking for some flower buds to refresh myself. Looking at trees, and flowers. There's one tip if you get stressed up; waste your time looking at fishes in aquarium, seriously you'll get calmed. I can't do it here coz' I've got no aquarium =(.

Anyway, here are some pics that I captured today: enjoy !

that's all. salam. =)

ну, да

Салам,

Урк, по русски? Вдруг?

Хорошо тогда, ну я так просто исползую простие слова. Да да да я навижу русский язык за трудность. Я пишу так, что бы я смог спать. Всё пока, салам.

ZzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzZzZZZzzzzzzzZZZZ......

just married !!!

Salam.

Finally the short holidays finally came by. I don't know what should I do, but to sit in home and sleep after tiring weekdays. Still, I haven't done my biochemistry test, postponing the test might be a bad idea, but somehow I found that, it can be a good idea also. Next month, less than 1 month and 1 week, I'm gonna have Biochemistry exam, FIRST, like FIRST WHAATTTTT?? FIRSTT??!!!!! At one sense, it is good that I can get rid of it early, then just mainly focusing on Physiology. SO yeah, exams are always exam, 1 hour to answer it, but to prepare is like light years long. Seriously, don't you feel the same dear blog? Wtf, you're just a blog listening to my ranting, so yeah, shut up and keep supporting me. Tomorrow I've got football match, I don't know I can join in or not, depends on that team. But seriously, I'm not good at football, choose a dog instead of me would be a better idea, sereozna govoriu (serius aku cakap).

It has been ages since I didn't do any photographing, with weather right now, I guess I'm gonna do some photograph tomorrow iA. God, I miss the greeneries. Though I'm using Suffian's DSLR, still he has macro lens, so yeah, after sooooo longgggg like this looonnnggggggg I didn't, I'm so excited to kick some flower arse (???).

Ah, about the royal super marriage (I kinda worry, can I comment something? Isn't there gonna be tulah?), it was like superb. Like yeah, superb (takde word laen dah -.-"). And then, what annoyed me was like "wah, princess kate was like living in every girl's dream yadda yadda". Man, what's so fussy about that marriage seriously? Going to church accompanied by 12 cute kids to hold your long gown -.-", touring around palace for 2 hours? Man, girls are so typical. My conclusion is actually it was kinda boring (since I'm not that Prince's place or whatever you wanna say) tochka tochka (titik titik). Ouh, I think the best was, there gonna GRAND DINNER rightttt???!!!! With chicken, turkey, salad, BBQ, royal fooooodsss are wayyyyyyyyyy more important than that parade.

Finally, I finally admitted that I'm officially parawhore.

Salam.

aku anak rusia

salam.

memandangkan semalam tido adalah sangat awal, seriously sangat sangat awal sebab takde member nak maen petang-petang, so inilah jadinya, dapat bangun tersangat awal. yakni pukul 2.15 pagi. certainly, right now is 5.27 am, because when I woke up, I opened my iPhone and muted off the iPod. I went to my laptop and checked few messages from my friends about the homework that we divided each other, medical care and stuffs. right now, I'm gonna blog this quick and go to sleep ASAP. anyway, continue.

Okay, the good thing about this was I can pray Subuh. I do ashamed of myself when I'm quite hard enough to wake up subuh, because yeah, right now subuh is from 3 am to 5.40 am, and plus my class starts at 8.00 almost everyday. So, I won't make this a reason, but, surely it is hard. Anyway, since I woke up early, I think I just can do some solat sunat. So yeah, I just doa that I can wake up constantly like this.

Regarding the entry, I do really have many things in common Russian people. It's like there are reasons why I was thrown here, not UK nor US.

1. Russian people make functions as their priority, not the esthetic value.
- Some people really particular about everything, designing, art. But almost all Russians just think about functions, like, for example: there's a lot of old buildings here, but they don't mind of destroying those buildings to make a new building with new facilities and stuff, instead, they just modified it and install the function that they need. so do our trolley-bus. I think the worst ever bus in Malaysia can't be compared to Russian trolley-bus here in Volgograd, but still, they operate way superbly than ours in Malaysia. Seriously. So do I. I don't care where I put my clothes, why my table is too messy with books this and there. Because it is table, so I can put on it whatever I want as long as it is TABLE and it should function as table. But somehow, even I couldn't stand the messiness, so yeah, once a week I do clean them up.

2. Russian people doesn't smile at people with no particular reason.
-I think I don't have to explain this, I do really don't like smiling with no particular reason.

3. Russian people care about sports.
-Unlike most of Malaysians, Russians make sport is one of the great essence in their life. They should do sport. Men in Malaysia maybe quite active, but women aren't. Here, almost every week I can see many of them join us playing badminton, no matter how old are they, it's like yeah true about what their proverb says "in healthy body, there's healthy spirit". I really do like exercising, but no jogging or body building. those stuffs are boring.

4. Russian people learn hardly.
-We the Malaysians are already spoon-fed eventhough our teachers/lectures doesn't give any notes. Why? Most of the books in Malaysia are understandable, in other words "less text- more diagram". Compared to Russian books, most of the content consists of 'wordssssss and worrrdsssss". It's like reading the novel and yet you have to imagine everything.

Yet, don't you ever wonder how can they be more forward than US and UK in term of Chemistry and Physics?

5. Russian people always wants to learn something new, by themselves.
-most of the russian people doesn't like importing or use other stuff. they want what they do, what they made it themselves.
I don't like to use others stuffs, in most case. rubber, scissors, MILO, I don't like to share anything from others, but if others want to borrow something, most of the time, there's no problem. still depends.

I guess that's all. Salam.

I wonder, how could my stats jumped to 10 000++ if only less than 10 people knew this blog. -.-""

blog baru

salam.

blog baru, perangai lama, jangan harap aku nak berubah. sudahlah, ini ikutan peristiwa yang buat me emo berpasal hari tuh.

i am very particular about money, especially when it comes to about giving out a lot of money and I don't get anything. that's it. so, recently, I'm selling t-shirt, just for fun. and FYI, I'm not making that shirt out of big profit, it was just for fun. but, so, how many person wants that or not, is not my problem, it is just a matter who wants just tell me.

it's okay then right? actually I make that shirts also to support me to go to moscow, since I'd to pay lots of thing including belanja few of my friends and classmates for my birthday. It's April, once in a year. so, the money that people paid me, I used them as debt at first, later on I will pay. So, past few days, I went to that shirt company. Here, the printing is so damn expensive, so I've to give out the deposit using my own money. So, I paid RM 1200 ringgit, my father gave that to me.

So here came the shit out of it. IDK what is their fucking problem, I already paid for all of them the deposits, so there were few of the buyers (well actually my friends, but now fucking not my friends anymore) SUDDENLY fucking don't want to buy that shirt, it was like so last minute, like after 1 day I paid in my deposit using my own money, so what the fuck was that? I'm quite surprise that most of them are of good manner Islamic and stuffs, so what the fuck was that? To be clear, yes I am damn angry with this, but what they showed me is so fucking 'not them'. In other words, I was so disappointed by them that I expected they were supposed to be alimi usrah, that just by saying 'no' while I have to pay all the debt, and where the fuck can I get money to pay my monthly sewa rumah next month? (I borrowed my father that RM1500, so that next month he could just deduct my scholarship money). Again, to be clear, what I mean here is, their irresponsibility disappoints me more than I angry with them, which causes me apparently to be so damn fucking angry. Now that, you guys understand how pain in my ass I have to sit on everyday? That's why I kinda start to hate the 'muka usrah' here. But, luckily, thanks to one of the commentator, he/she reminded me to be patient, and yet satan did try to make sneak into me, Alhamdulillah that I realized that, so yeah, I'm not that anti-usrah, but just of their attitude. But still, once I was smacked by this mistake, it seems like there's no other way I can see any good in them. Nothing at all. Kirovsky this and that? I might find another solution of psychologically can contribute to Kirovsky, but not via them. I seemed to disappointed right now.

Tell me, is it enough just by saying 'I'm sorry' or "sorrry sesangat, maaf, kami silap" to replace my money which I have to pay for them which is about RM 300. Is it fucking enough for me or not?

Be in my shoes, then you'll know how disappointed I am.

under construction

Blog akan ada perubahan sikit. Terima kaseh.

Bukan alasan la

mungkin ada yang tertanya-tanya. baik, dalam kesibukan ni, aku akan cuba jawab apa yang patut, so that tak timbul salah faham. anti-usrah aku bukan la bermaksud aku ni tak suka usrah. bukan, kat sini, aku melabel orang yang hardcore usrah. i mean ORANG tuh la. so, jangan salah faham. aku masih pergi ke usrah, cuma masalahnya, satu. biar aku explain dalam ayat ni.

'dalam hidup aku, kerap kalinya, perangai orang bukan Islam, jauh lebih baik dari orang Islam'. Aku sendiri tak cukup Islam, well, maksud aku tak sebaik orang orang yang tau hadis itu ini, ayat itu ini, nasihat itu ini. tapi, sekurang-kurang amalan siapa-siapa pun, kau tidak berhak untuk lepas dari tanggungjawab ke atas orang lain, even orang macam aku pun. ye orang cakap kau baik, seriously aku sendiri anggap kau semua baik, well, akhirnya tunjuk lah jugak kau orang punya perangai, tak ubah lebih teruk. iyelah, sapa mahu jilat ludah balik.

LEPAS NI JANGAN CAKAP DEPAN AKU HADIS-HADIS KAU, AYAT AYAT KAU, SEBAB BAGI AKU KAU TAK UBAH MACAM BINATANG YANG CAKAP BERAPI, HAKIKATNYA KO SENDIRI TAK BOLEH BERFIKIR SECARA AKALNYA.

sekarang kau puas? tipulah kalau redha kau kalau masih kutuk aku pun kan. ingat, aku tak perlu 'kho la rasulullah....' untuk bagitau aku, macam mana nak bertanggungjawab. bukan secara 'maaf' semata-mata. seronok la kau ye? lepas ni korang keluarkan statement 'Nabi pun memaafkan orang yang pernah menganiayanya, inikan kita'. KALAU BERANI, keluarkan statement tuh, kalau kau orang ahlul ahlul.

peace out, salam.

judging

dengan ini saya officially anti usrah. terima kasih. 

97 hari

Dulu waktu kecil,
Aku kuat merungut, menangis,
Waktu aku merasakan yang dunia ini kerdil,
Normanya hilang pekaku atas kesempitan hidup kais demi kais.

Tidak!
Tak pernah sekalipun ayahku pinta untuk aku menebus layanan tangisanku suatu masa dulu.
Tidak!
Tak pernah sekalipun ibuku pinta untuk membalas setiap rengusan dulu.

Apa yang mereka mahu, cuma aku bahagia.
Kenal erti dunia,
Kenal siapa kita, asal usul kita,
Kenal erti syukur terima kasih,
Tanpa satu perkara pun diminta mereka untukku balas.

Ayah, ibu, tanggungjawabku belum selesai,
Haramkanlah hatiku dari terpukau ke arus pesongan fitnah dunia.

Insya-Allah.

Ps: ini bukan sajak. Cuma muntah hati berfrasa.

Moscow: Sechenov Intervarsity Games 2011. A dot that never means end.

Salam,

So habis lah SIG 2011, or lebih famous dalam kalangan student-student malaysia di sini sebagai 'Malaysia Games'. Next year, Nizhny Novgorod pula ye jadi tuan rumah, so excited to got there, iA. Since I already updated few info since the first day I was in Moscow, so this post is more on the meaning that I got from Moscow. Sport is always about winning, but winning isn't always about sport. Dapat la beberapa pictures, but most of my pictures ada dekat orang yang tangkap gambar. Macam biasa, bawa camera tapi tak ingin nak tangkap gambar sebab utamanya tak suka guna camera orang to be my perspective. Its personal. Later I'll embed this post with a vid me playing badminton in Semi Final versus Kursk State Medical University.

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamudillah first of all, that I arrived here safely. Although we took bus to go there, but I did enjoy the journey, the sceneries were just breathtaking. But, most of the times, I just slept, seriously all my friends were so jealous of me like, how the hell can I sleep in that bus. It took 18 FREAKING HOURS to go there. So yeah, I don't know my ass already kematu or not =). ANYWAY, so here what I like about this SIG Games.

1) Though I didn't perform well, there's hikmah behind that.
___I have to keep believing in the myself, in others, in shuttle, skills. I'd trained hard for this, and this is it. There was a time that I felt really down, not believing what could ever happened, maybe I might let someone down, maybe I did something stupid, maybe this and that bad things, but by keeping myself quite and calm, thinking deeply, I knew, I could do it, I just could do it. And here I am, I delivered. Thanks Syed Aidid, I believe after this, we're gonna train extra hard to reach that level, we will iA.

2) The super mega grand arena.
___This time, SIG didn't just a small stupid Malaysian Intervarsity Games, this was an Olympic Games. It just felt that way. God knows how big that main arena is, and yes, the Moscow Olympic Event once was held there. I guess, you guys didn't waste that RM 350, 000 to organize this games, it did left us a special feelings. Congrats to MMA organizing team, spasiba balshoe, super thumbs-up.

3) The best performance_comedy cast_
___There were lot of dances, Indian, Malays, Chinese, Sarawakians, but, what attracted me the most more than others was, the special cast. I laugh my ass off ROFL, like very much. It was super genius, super super genius.

4) Someone asked me, "Your skin looked smooth, what product do you used?"
___OMG, I was so whaaaattt???!!! Honestly, I didn't give a damn on my skin anymore since my secondary school. It just didn't work with all the stupid Clearasil stuffs. But when I quitted, it just back to normal. So, God created natural healing far more better than those cosmetics. :)

5) Looking at others, how bersatu are they.
___In moscow, especially the RSMU team/squad, their supporters really banged the event. I guess without them, SIG would be boring. You guys have the most sportsmanships like no others, win or lose, isn't what matter, all you guys saw is the game, and yes, you guys surpassed us in medal tally this year, congrats again RSMU.

6) High performance Volgo.
___This year, our badminton team lost only one match. Only in Final, when Alan Gan lost to a new star in MMA, the first year guy named Gregory. Other than that, we won confidently. But, what I respected the most was, how Alan has guided us this far, with the skills, he just gave all he got to us. But, after this, I'm pretty sure, he'll be back on the revenge to Gregory, just wait and see. And us, of course still got a lot to learn. Badminton, I rather die to you than to get love from girls.

7) Seeing some couples, it measured me.
___Sorry I can't find a perfect word to replace that 'measured' word. But, get what I mean right? Yeah, I'm human too, but, I don't know and still don't freaking understand, why I don't deserve for this. WHY? WHY? WHY? I guess, SIG measured me down to the level of I kinda a guy who needs to get a 'life'. -.-"

8) To many dosa, but, please don't judge.
___Going to Moscow was hell to much dosa I'd ever seen in my life. Apart of my stupid fucking housemates who talked back about me all the times, though this time he surely over our (me and Naki) patience, so I think I can still ignore that. But in Moscow, girls and guys, touch each other, holding hands. It is still haram right although sentuh berlapik as their intention is to sentuh yang bukan mahram, right? I mean, it wasn't like tak sengaja pun kan? So yeah, I'm not judging, but, yeah, amek iktibar, iA.

So, that's all I think, I'm tired, should get a rest. Oh, I love Hayley Williams. =P

second day moscow: geniuses!!!

Salam.

A bit update about today: i didnt win gold medal for table tennis. We lost to MMA. A bit stressed actually because we didnt perform as we should be. We just a scared brats who happened to be not a good risk taker. Nevertheless we went through the final, but we lost in such not a good gane. MMA did play well, but somehow i do believe that we can actually beat them, but we didnt play as confident as we ever wanted it to be. So, we got silver medal. :(

I guess, my target to get 2 gold this year already failed. I should get a rest by now, my fatigue from badminton match hasnt gone yet. But, i think i should blog something.

After our moscow spring fever concert, we kinda had a gathering. Just among us the second year students from moscow, volgo. Nizhny i didnt see them. It was pleasant, met few of friends, then i talked much. Well almost all of the words coming from my mouth were kutuk kutuk one. I hope they got what i meant, that im just joking, i didnt have another way of socializing with people.

Here came the genius question: "hafidz, mane makwe?" (something like that), asked Amira. I WAS LIKE, wow, what should i say then. Im totally in shock. Coz at that time, in front of me, there were 2 couples, haezel-naqib and syamim-ria. Haha. The most interesting part of all, its syamim and ria. I never thought that i was just sakat sakat them in facebook back then during my first year in here. Although i kinda sensed something fishy when syamim asked me about ria, about her attitude and all of that stuffs, i never thought they have gone this 'far'. Anyway its nice to see somebody getting their 'life' because of me. =).

But that question really smacked me down. Seriously. I just answered, "im just single, like who the hell wants me -.-". That time i know that im lonely. Perhaps navsegda i will be like that. Its just not gonna be any nadezhda for me.

Im such a loser.

Dont be like me guys. A loser.

Salam.

hari pertama (dari hotel ismailovskii delta)

Salam,

Since i've got internet here, i guess i can blog here. So here it goes. First day of Sechenov Intervarsity Games ended finally. My legs hurt, i mean really tired like pure fatigueness. Tomorrow I'm gonna play table tennis, which is a total different game from badminton. Owh btw, alhamdulillah i've got gold medal for badminton.

About badminton today (before i mood lost) do really taught me something. Although something did distract me, but it didnt disturb my focus. Alhamdulillah for that, because we human cant control our feeling, whether it is from the past or right now. Thanxs haley williams for reminding me that -.-'.

Although today, i felt kinda 'lost' with my sad face. I played single a d double. The problem wasnt from single, but from my double partner syed aidid. Earlier today i had problem in trusting him, i mean like to handle few balls. Simple mistake do really kinda over ridden him. It made me felt so down, because double needs cooperation. So, it was earlier today. So, in final, we were shocked by Alan's result. He lose. I mean like WTFFFF?!! Alan lossse??? So the burden back to us, me and Aidid. I just pasrah, nothing we can do at that time. No tactics no strategies. Alhamdulillah again ive got an idea.

"enjoy the game, ignore the score, ignore the people, feel the game, Its BADMINTON!!!". So, i just said to Aidid "Aidid, main game kita ja, enjoy game, pedulikan final atau tak, menang atau kalah". Alhamdulillah it worked pretty well, because at that time, we were (i guess) just thinking to do our best, show our skills which we didnt even show em yet today. So the game was the craziest match i ever been into. Screamed, nervous, panic, they were all into that match. At last we won, after we thought the game should be easy, but since Alan lose, everything turned otherwise. Alhamdulillah we can make through it. The most important thing is, Syed Aidid was the man of the match. I couldnt do anything without his perfect ball, because im fat and of course i depend on him in most cases. Our training finally showed what we wanted to show.

Tahniah Aidid, and kepada supporter2 lain, korang sangat sangat sangat memainkan perasan. It was not just you guys bersorak bagI nak terkeluar anak tekak, for me, it was actually you guys presence in there who burned me inside. Thanxs. Tomorrow is table tennis. Huissssshhh. Penat ni gi mana sih?

Moscow

Salam,

Happy April you guys although this greet sucks. But, poshli nahui to blyaddddd!!!!

Haha, cari la maksud ayat atas tuh. Ni akibatnya kalau terlebih paham bahasa rusia mulalah tengok video-video russki ala-ala ray william johnson. Sesaje test kefahaman, dan sekarang terlebih paham, and almost kebanyak russki cakap macam ni. Taklah suci sangat ye russki ni although derang ni cakap sangat gramatically correct. Like korang korang cakap bahasa melayu in fully baku one, paham tak?

apa-apa jelah. so tonight the internet traffic feeds gonna be busy with all the volgorians, the muscovites, the kurskian, the nizhnian, the MIA-ian, and bla bla, writing in their own blog about "HEY WISH ME LUCK WISH MEEE LUUUCCKKKK". yeah.

next friday, saturday, sunday gonna be SIG (sechenov intervarsity game) which is in Moscow. Paid 4000 rubles, losing surely is not what I want. But, I just wanna play there, so no stress, play my game, enjoy being myself. anyway, as i said, and should say, wish me all the best for the Malaysian Games, since I'll be participating in badminton (as always) and Table tennis. I hope i can record some videos during the match, you know, as a memories, not showing off (im not that good to show off btw). SO, thats all, see ya next monday. salam.

Hari Senyap

Salam.

Post ni sepatutnya aku post semalam, ala introduction untuk experiment aku yang latest. Titled as 'Can human be quite for a day?'. Ini merupakan soalan yang sangat random yang aku dapat idea time aku dalam bas. Well, pretty much aku agak amused dengan bas (trolley bus) kat sini, because most of my idea in this blog datang dari dalam bus tuh pun. Thumbs up bas burok !!!

Okeh, as I said that, I was about experimenting this hypothesis, do human can really be quite. So, here are few parameters that I included in this experiment. First, you must be quite. Second, it isn't like you cannot talk at all, because it'll just disturb your social activity, therefore, you can interact with others if you do need to interact. Third, you can laugh. So, generally speaking, you can talk if and only if you need to talk.

How it went?

Sucks. I broke these laws for 3 times, which indicates me a total failure. We've got 2 lectures, under some circumstances and pure boringness, who the hell in the world wouldn't talk? or wouldn't sleep? Right? SO, I failed today. But, after the lecture, I was glad, my experiment went quite well. I talked few. Yes, it does normal when I talk few, but only in front of the girls, but not the boys. But this time, I managed to talk less, work....pretty much more. Anyway, you should talk less, talk only the important things. Important things aren't  just like talking facts and about studies, but communicate with people in a most minimized way. Simply, when you talk less, you focus more, you work more, your Iman raises, your imagination raises, and your memory stronger. Proven. About the Iman raised, is when you're sitting still, wandering about something. Randomly.  And the probability of you thinking about the God, how the world is created, somehow made you think of them, and the mysteries snap\ you about how big is the world. Or might be you're thinking about death.

So happy trying, happy Hari Senyap. Do try this once!

Sometimes, we might be wrong.

Salam.

Semakin hari semakin super malas. Macam, aku malas gila nak keluar dengan keadaan badan yang sakit habis semua. Nak study pun tak boleh. I mean, nak study pun boleh, tapi malas gila. Pastu, dengan nak pergi Moscow minggu depan, harapnya takde benda terjadi la eh? Klu tak pasal aku tak pegi. Apa-apa pun, pegi by bus, so no big deal la sangat.

Among all of my skills, there's one skill that I think I'm quite sucks at it. Not 'quite', but damn sucks at it. Seriously. It's about my social skills. Our world social activities are divided into 2, 'first-self' and 'second-self'. According to a professor who gave her speech in TED show. I forgot her name already. But to make things simpler, 1-self is ourself in real world interacting with others one on one. This is what I'm lacking of. Then, our 2-self is our second 'body' that we've being busy all the time faking in front of others pretending that we're not in our 1-self. Most of the time, it happens in our social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace. I gotta admit this, that my 2-self is more superior than my 1-self. Which is a very big deal, coz' I don't know how to interact with others. Problem problem. The way is easy, yet kinda impossible. Our prophet Muhammad, constructed his own social network system, which for me, kinda look alike like Facebook. Facebook has chat, picture to share and tag with, commenting on others, sharing notes, have notes and events to remind you all the time.

The Facebook of Islam which I found to be amazed is things were already made back in the last thousands of years. But, of course there no such thing as Omar al Khattab posing in front of camera for his profile picture  -.-'.   Okay, bet you guys can see the correlation in this already.

It's simple, Facebook of Islam is Solat Jemaah. Simple enough but does explain everything. Like Anuar Hadi who posted about this earlier today in his YouTube channel, solat jemaah really means more rather than simply 'more than 1 people' praying together. 5 times a day, could it be more than enough for controlling your addictions? Actually I was about to say about something else, somehow it ended up I'm talking about this.

Ah, anyway, thanxs for chatting with me eh, it's nice sometimes when we chatted about non-academic thing at the same time you slapped me in the face with something I should be realized a long long ling time ago.

Got to go. My toe's nail is killin' me. Kalau nak terkeluar tuh terkeluar je la, ni nak lekat-lekat kat isi pulak. =.=""

never hope for something

salam.

okeh ini entry untuk hari jadi aku. yeay. boleh rasa kan 'yeay' aku tak se'yeay' yang disangka. okeh, as expected from last night lagi, aku tau aku takkan dapat bufday yang diidamkan aku pun. haha. not that aku tak bersyukur bufday aku kali ni, but something do bother me this time. its like being wished secara tak ikhlas. i mean yeah, boys dont wish each other, because its awkward. but girls, seriously i never felt this deep much. i mean, kalau tak nak wish, just please dont wish me anything, if you wished me like giving me a shit, better tak payah wish, sebab merosakkan mood aku.

fine. ini sebenarnya benda kecil2 je berlaku hari ni. but sengaja aku besar-besarkan sebab ada benda besar berlaku and totally spoiled my 'great' bufday. firstly, esok fisio. last night lagi aku dah bad mood. tak guna kau fisio! tapi ni still faktor kecik. but, the worst part is......

the most expensive yet precious yet sangat disayangi yet sangat sangat aku amek kesah, teka apa jadi? teka teka teka?

putus tali.....
SALAH...

sebenarnya patah. ye PATAH PATAHHHHHHH PATAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. the moment dia patah, aku tau, ini petanda yang aku dah rasa akan jadi semalam. sebab tu aku tak happy, sebab tuh aku muka masam. sebab tuh aku rasa kosong hari ni. sebab tu aku rasa aku tiada sapa-sapa dalam dunia ni. sebab tuh aku sedih nak mati. sedih ni bukan sedih macam korang kene curi dompet. ini sedih macam salah satu pet kesayangan aku mati paham tak mati? so paham-paham la malam ni aku akan trauma. maybe seminggu aku tak boleh tido dalam igauan raket aku patah. even the moment raket hadiah kesayangan dari ayah aku patah time form 2 jugak dapat menyedihkan aku. lagi lagi la sekarang. so, apa yang jadi? aku sangat tak puas hati. cibai betol. aku nak menangis. ye aku nak menangis sekarang la babiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii aku benci la babiiiiiiiiiiiii. raket aku yang paling mahal patah macam tuh. 

mood

cheer me up please? this is not what i imagine. please.

Updating kejap...

Salam.

Memandangkan minggu ni aku agak rileks, maybe sebab semua nota dah siap and tunggu nak baca depan cikgu je, so aku rasa aku boleh blogging kejap. kot.

esok ada lecture, lepas tu ada history medicine, slides semua dah siap, just get ready untuk baca depan die la. anyway, dia paham ke kalau aku cakap pun? -.-". lusa rabu, of course aku tak prepare sebab aku sangat tau nasib aku hari tuh aku akan bad mood sepanjang hari. selamat ada latihan ping pong petang tuh, so aku dapat lepas geram. =)

aku ada banyak perkara yang aku teringin sangat. so esok aku nak cari salah satu benda yang aku teringin sangat tanpa amek kesah harga dia. bila lagi kan nak merasa?

iPod Shuffle

mula-mula aku nak iPod Shuffle. bukan apa, dalam iPhone aku pun ada iPod jugak, but bukan tahan lama pun kalau aku nak pegi moscow. pegi moscow naik bas ye adik2. lagi jauh dari bukit kayu hitam ke johor. serious. tapi, pikir-pikir balik, tak berbaloi sebab aku pakai untuk short term je. macam obses awal2 je, lama2 aku buang tepi. -.-". dah la mahal.

kasut yonex.

kedua aku nak kasut baru, tapi sini macam takde je kasut nike or yonex. kenapa tak adidas?? adidas sini cheap bak kata pian sebab ramai sangat la orang pakai, dah rasa sangat bangang pulak pakai adidas. betul. sebab tu aku prefer nike, tapi nike sini takde design cantik-cantik, so frust sikit di situ. yonex ada, tapi entah ada size ke tak. lagi pun better aku beli dekat malaysia dari aku beli kat sini. kasut yonex memang nampak cam biase2. skrg yang aku pakai pun mahal la jugak, around 150, tapi the truth is aku memang sah sah dah tau kasut aku pakai skrg tak ori, starting on the day aku beli lagi time kat pertama kompeks tuh. tapi entah aku beli je. -.-". dulu aku pernah beli yang ori sekali, harga around 50-70 cam tuh, murah bagi standard kasut yang macam tuh. jujur aku cakap, feel die omaigod sangat lain, impact dia time jumping time landing semue perfect. and aku tau cara nak detect originality dia. semua tengok kat tapak kasut je ingat tauke cina boleh tipu aku? aku beli pun sebab ko dah takde yang ori tau?!

nanospeed, one day aku beli jugak kau. biar la tak ori pun.

ketiga aku nak badminton raket yang baru. ini memang sadis sebab sini takde kedai badminton, sangat frust sangat okey? aku selalunya every year at least 1 or 2 raket kene beli. bukan sebab hebat sangat pun, tapi sesaje hobby, daripada duit aku habes kat makanan kan? tapi memandangkan kat sini takde kedai, so makanan jugak tempat aku buang duit. -.-". sepanjang hidup aku tak penah lagi ada orang kasi raket dekat aku, selain mak aku and ayah aku. haha. tapi inilah benda yang aku palign happy kalau aku dapat pun, tak perlu harga raket yang 500-900 pun, yang murah 150 ringgit pun dah cukup. eh 150 ringgit dapat 2 pun aku on je. sebab bila dah nama raket, aku rasa pukul macam mana pun sedap. nanti2 la kalau aku jadi doctor aku boleh beli yang mahal sikit pun. alan, orang paling terer volgo pun pakai 2 raket. aku skrg ni kat tangan ada 6 bijik raket. semuanya aku tak pasti secure ke tak bila masa nak putus tali. aku 1 kali sebulan konfem putus tali. sebab aku kaki smash. -.-'

keempat aku teringin nak berjumpa atlet kesayangan aku, lee chong wei ke, misbun ke, sape2 je yang main badminton, asalkan aku kenal. tapi setakat ni rezeki aku tak sampai-sampai lagi. lepas spm kene masuk intek, bila masuk intek terbuka malaysia buat time hari kelas, and cuti. sah sah la aku balik rumah. datang rusia mana  ada badminton open kan. okeh sadis. next year iA olimpik london, akan kutemu mereka jua !!!!

okeh chow aku nak buat nota microbes. salam.

Bracelets huduh

Bracelet Pertama

Bracelet kedua

Bracelet Ketiga

Sekali sekala

Sekala sekala selepas seminggu sibuk dengan test, aku kena la kemas rumah kan. and btw, aku nak kene keluar kejap lagi nak beli barang untuk buat custom made friendship bracelet. susah okeh nak cari barang-barang tuh kat sini. -.-", so aku prefer substitute. anyway, aku kena buat nota or something dulu before belah. berimanlah dengan al-Asr. =)

salam.

p/s: ye, aku dari kecik banyak buat benda yang budak-budak pempuan suka buat macam buat bracelet tuh la. cuma aku punya kemasan tak la sehebat pempuan, but well at least aku tau buat. haha. pempuan kalau taktau buat malu je. nanti aku post gambar apa yang aku buat. but semua benda ni faktor aku suka benda berwarna-warna. taktau kenapa but dari kecik aku obses dengan warna sebab tu la nota aku banyak warna (kalau aku suka cikgu tuhla) and selalu kena marah dengan abah aku sebab suka conteng dinding dengan warna. aku dulu hyper. sbg contoh: datang2 kat rumah orang, aku naik atas meja makan and lompat. -.-"

Up and Down

Salam.

I feel like I'm not into blogging right now. But, anyway, somehow I'm still into it. -.-"

Minggu ni memang rasa amat cepat, dengan test Microbes yang tak berapa cemerlang, tapi okey la, aku memang sucks dalam bab-bab study, jangan nak pulun lebih, nanti dapat markah kurang sikit, mulalah nak bising. Alah, macam Fisiologi. Frust and trauma aku akan berulang setiap hari Rabu. Serius.

Hidup kita ni, secara rambangnya, aku observe that, in our life of course kita akan ada waktu kita up, ada waktu kita down. Aku rasa setiap orang sedar benda ni. Aku bukan nak cakap pasal, bila kita up kita ingat Tuhan bla bla, bukan bukan, itu suruh kakak-kakak, abang-abang usrah kau ceramahkan, aku lebih kepada general. Kalau kena period kita ditimpa nasib malang, sumpah, sakit. Macam everything yang kita buat, semua tak kena. fight la macam mana pun, still kita tak dapat fight benda tuh. That period is sangat sakit hati. But, sometime, at that time, since kita dah tau that kita tak mampu nak buat apa-apa, everything that we do akan end up failed. Macam aku. So, apa yang perlu anda rasa adalah STRESS. ye, aku mengajak anda rasa stress. kenapa kenapa kenapa?

waktu stress, apart dia menumbuhkan jerawat yang banyak (sori dulu aku banyak skrg ada la dua tiga biji yang nak cari pasal ngan aku), kita punya otak like bekerja extra hard, and of course akan ada hormonal imbalance which can also lead to emotional imbalance. Stress adalah perlu untuk development sistem otak kita, because, otak kita takde muscle which kita boleh develop jadi Malek Nor, so dengan stress sebenarnya dapat membesarkan otak kita. Stress tak salah, cuma kalau tak dapat cope dengan stress, itu la yang jadi masalah. Cope dnegan stress sometime tidak memerlukan ubat, cuma perlukan some break, and most serious (like being humiliated ke) the only lekarstvo adalah masa.

aku dulu pernah stress kenapa aku tak dapat main badminton dengan baik, macam semua benda seems tak work out. macam belajar tuh tak payah cakap la, aku tak penah expect apa aku buat work out, well, sejak-sejak selepas fisiologi hari tuh. sebab dalam dunia ni aku percaya life is unfair. hidup adalah tak adil. kau rasa adil ke aku memeluk islam sedangkan jauh di pelusuk afrika dia tak dapat masuk islam and buta-buta masuk neraka? aku bukan nak main hukum Tuhan, cuma aku tak paham konsep. kalau siapa-siapa yang ada pendapat mengenai hal ini, sila tolong jawabkan, aku takut aku semakin tersimpang dengan fikiran hati kecil aku ni, barangkali akibat hasutan syaitan. tapi ia tetap persoalan. sila jawab.

tapi sekarang, dalam bahasa baik, aku dalam top form dalam badminton. firstly, aku rasa sangat syukur, sebab kebolehan aku yang baru ni, datang secara natural, which aku percaya ini anugerah Tuhan. Ini memberikan peningkatan mendadak tatkala aku merasakan aku semaking kurang dalam pencapaian prestasi sebab berat badan aku yang tak tahu nak turun (mana ke taknya, sekali makan 95% semuanya nasi, lauk ciput). aku panggil kebolehan ni "sixth sense dalam badminton". macam mana? aku tak boleh bagitau, sebab aku takut riak. sangat takut. aku harap aku semakin okey. studi lepak2 dulu, sebab aku rasa aku tak boleh cope dengan 2nd year ni. tapi tuh tak bermaksud aku cuak and takut terus. aku akan berusaha, cuma tak meletak harapan. =)

salam.

p.s: 5/4 aku ingin buat kelainan. iA. untuk adik aku tercinta yang seolah-olah macam dianak-tirikan oleh aku pulak, aku nak beli sweater pink untuk dia. iA. =)