Salam,
The most stressful week, yet, the most saddest part of life when I was in here. This week even was even worser than past weeks that I had been through. See, it's Thursday, and I barely can hold my fingers to write. It's a toughest week, the week that I wish and keep wishing that somewhere in my hippocampus for it disappear, or at least, be my invisible memory. If I am in Malaysia, this surely has a cure. Go-back-home is the only solution I have to release this such amount of stress, sleep-deprived mind from this worldly lies. Seriously, I am in the state of demotivated.
Seriously, there is a difference between getting a good mark, and doing the best in tests/exams.
I usually keep my pace on keep doing my best in each test in here, because I don't believe in such good marks in here. But this week, it went totally wrong, that, I just couldn't forgive myself. Yes, I did stay up till 3 a.m, and the effort didn't worth each second, minute, hour I spent on that night. Yes, it didn't worth a piece of junk! I am not blaming God for this. And I believe that I gave my best effort for this test. But I just couldn't forgive myself for each mistake I have made. Every single of it! It is very painful when you didn't give the best...indeed.
It was just wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I am not worry about the marks, I don't even care about getting 3 or even 2, as long as I give my best.
They said, when things go wrong, look what you have in your life, and surely you'll be thankful for it. I looked at what I have. Family, brothers, sisters. And I all that I just saw was, I just let them down. Seriously, didn't I? And they also said, this is just a test from Allah, there's something behind this test. I just couldn't understand this. At first. So light and shadow.
We see light, we can see through light. Light always brighten our life. Especially at night, where darkness limits your sight. But, although it brightens you and makes you see, anyway there's always a shadow behind everything you see. And again, wasn't the light supposed to brighten everything, but why there's still shadow? Why?
Because He wants us to learn, life is not just the thing you see, but there's thing you can't see. Maybe my effort (light) is enough to see every single thing (giving my best in tests) in my room, but, there's always a shadow (imperfection). I see that, effort and tawakal is parallel. Tawakal. Tawakal!
When we said tawakal, it doesn't mean you will get a good result ahead of you, it means EVERYTHING THAT YOU'LL GET IS THE BEST FOR YOU!
Salam.
p.s: And that is why I am totally PISS OFF when someone said to me 'Good Luck'. Because luck cheats you. Destiny not. It's better to say "All the best" or "Selamat Menjawab". And if someone said Good Luck to me, and already the feeling that the 'luck' already gone. Seriously.
The most stressful week, yet, the most saddest part of life when I was in here. This week even was even worser than past weeks that I had been through. See, it's Thursday, and I barely can hold my fingers to write. It's a toughest week, the week that I wish and keep wishing that somewhere in my hippocampus for it disappear, or at least, be my invisible memory. If I am in Malaysia, this surely has a cure. Go-back-home is the only solution I have to release this such amount of stress, sleep-deprived mind from this worldly lies. Seriously, I am in the state of demotivated.
Seriously, there is a difference between getting a good mark, and doing the best in tests/exams.
I usually keep my pace on keep doing my best in each test in here, because I don't believe in such good marks in here. But this week, it went totally wrong, that, I just couldn't forgive myself. Yes, I did stay up till 3 a.m, and the effort didn't worth each second, minute, hour I spent on that night. Yes, it didn't worth a piece of junk! I am not blaming God for this. And I believe that I gave my best effort for this test. But I just couldn't forgive myself for each mistake I have made. Every single of it! It is very painful when you didn't give the best...indeed.
It was just wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I am not worry about the marks, I don't even care about getting 3 or even 2, as long as I give my best.
They said, when things go wrong, look what you have in your life, and surely you'll be thankful for it. I looked at what I have. Family, brothers, sisters. And I all that I just saw was, I just let them down. Seriously, didn't I? And they also said, this is just a test from Allah, there's something behind this test. I just couldn't understand this. At first. So light and shadow.
We see light, we can see through light. Light always brighten our life. Especially at night, where darkness limits your sight. But, although it brightens you and makes you see, anyway there's always a shadow behind everything you see. And again, wasn't the light supposed to brighten everything, but why there's still shadow? Why?
Because He wants us to learn, life is not just the thing you see, but there's thing you can't see. Maybe my effort (light) is enough to see every single thing (giving my best in tests) in my room, but, there's always a shadow (imperfection). I see that, effort and tawakal is parallel. Tawakal. Tawakal!
When we said tawakal, it doesn't mean you will get a good result ahead of you, it means EVERYTHING THAT YOU'LL GET IS THE BEST FOR YOU!
Salam.
p.s: And that is why I am totally PISS OFF when someone said to me 'Good Luck'. Because luck cheats you. Destiny not. It's better to say "All the best" or "Selamat Menjawab". And if someone said Good Luck to me, and already the feeling that the 'luck' already gone. Seriously.
1 comment:
when your best, just isn't good enough...indeed. Nice reminder bro. I always piss off for the same reason. Usaha n tawakal, insyaAllah, it'll work one day.
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