Mood Jatuh

Assalamualaikum,

First of all, I really wanna say thank you to Allah for providing me this oppoturnity to come back at home and enjoy My lifetime with my family. Really really thankful for it. But before I forget, special thank also to 'taman-hati-jambu' which I don't know who you are, but I kinda know who you are actually, and a bit surprising that actually someone is reading my blog so quitely. Like a spy, a typical Russian profession which is well-known. Right know I'm on the edge of falling down, I mean the mood is falling down. It is normal, for me. I don't have period, but I have this- mood swing anf migraine.

It happens (usually) because of I'm thinking over something too much, and yet headache is what I get. So don't think too much. Even about the unknowns who read this blog. I'm feeling insecure like what others might think of me if they read this. I have no intention of promoting this blog. I just don't wanna others making any sins just because how fucktard I am. Because I am that, so don't.

See told ya that I'm in my mood swing.

Perhaps I was severely disturbed by this feeling/question- "It has been almost 3 weeks you've been here, yet what you did with your family?". That was a totally snapped question. Right on my brain with super collateral damage on it. Okay, exaggerated. But, seriously, what have I done with them? N.O.T.H.I.N.G. I mean nothing that I ever imagine like I was in Russia past few weeks. And for God sake, I ain't no typing here for no reason and no action. I've got to do something, or the the-sigh-of-regrets will overwhelm me along my flight back to Volgograd.

Apart the practical that really bugging me (bugging doesn't mean it is rubbish), I have to well plan next few days after the practical, making my holidays enjoyable, memorable, famili-able. I mean seriously, I already started feeling that I'm wasting my time right now. 3 weeks of wastes. God, forgive me for this.

So, please ya Allah make my Ramadhan the best for all of us, Hj Hasan an pd Hjh Thahiroh's family, yet the best ever Ramadhan we ever had. Avoid us from any unwanted things from us, O Allah. You know how much ai love each of them, more than ever in this world.

After much time I had spent in my life, it was the first two person that I truly love. It's my mother and father. And for that 'first', I wish we could be like the old days.

It just good to be old and lame. I'm furnishing my life right now

Wassalam.